using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
