i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
