I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
