my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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