I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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