I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
PANTIES FOUND
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