It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize