I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
