watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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