Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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