I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
