God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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