you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
