ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
