i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
