I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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