I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
