I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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