8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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