He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
