hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
