Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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