Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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