K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Who died my cat blue again?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize