Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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