You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
