just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
