We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
