My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
