go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize