Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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