Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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