around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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