It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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