you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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