Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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