you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
