So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
