i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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