..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
