i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
