It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
