Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
zippers are such a cool invention
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
