Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
