I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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