$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
