I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
