My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
