My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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