I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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