that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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