I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
