I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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