Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
