i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
