Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
