apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
