While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
