I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The beer is more important than you right now.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
